Hotel Pakistania

There was this movie recently called ‘Hotel Transylvania’. It is an animation movie which takes an interesting turn about the story of Count Dracula. The story is this:
Count Dracula is the owner of Hotel Transylvania, where the world’s monsters can take a rest from human civilization. Dracula invites some of the most famous monsters, including Frankenstein’s monster, Mummy, a Werewolf family, and the Invisible Man, to celebrate the 118th birthday of his daughter Mavis. When the hotel is unexpectedly visited by an ordinary 21-year-old traveller named Jonathan, Dracula must protect Mavis from falling in love with him before it is too late.

Reading about Shah Rukh Khan and the present controversy with Pakistan and India fighting against each other for his safety reminded me of this movie. Shah Rukh Khan’s outspoken remarks about being persecuted in India (I don’t know why he said that… he’s India’s most widely accepted celebrity) on the basis of his religion has created ripples across the border too. The militant leader Saeed Hafiz, MD of the world’s foremost killing organization has become kind to Mr. Khan and offered him asylum in Pakistan. Now, Pakistan has a history of being a safe haven to world’s terrorist leaders. Starting from Dawood Ibrahim to the most famous Osama Bin Laden, who couldn’t continue enjoying the nation’s hospitality for longer… After the embarrassing revelation that bin Laden was living in Pakistan, they must have found it difficult to repeat to the world that they are fighting ‘against’ terrorists. Also, the image of Pakistan as a safe haven must have got tarnished with the easy killing of bin Laden by the American Seal Team(6). So the think-tanks in Pakistan must have been brainstorming about how to get more guests in to Hotel Pakistania. That’s when Mr. Khan blurted out to the U.S media that he’s been persecuted in airports in some countries over his surname. (‘Kh’…. ‘Khan…. ‘Kh’ from the epiglottis!)

BJP took their bite off from the controversy and so did the Home Ministry. Sushil Kumar Shinde has a habit of poking at everything that passes through. He poked at this too… Pakistani Prime Minister also responded saying that the Indian government should take care of Shah Rukh Khan. We have an entire country to take care of from Pakistan and their terrorists and they are asking for extra care for SRK. This is not right, Pakistan! Now, SRK seems to have realized his folly and has commented that he was not talking about India but the rest of the world. He also has stated that he feels at home in India and the people here love him so much that he can’t think of going anywhere else. Well sir, we won’t love you much if you start churning out more movies like ‘Jab Tak Hain Jaan’ and ‘Ra-One’. Why do you think most of the Hollywood flicks don’t run in India? We don’t sit in a theater just because there is technical brilliance… there has to be something called story, too. ‘Songs and Dance’ are old story too… if you take a look at the box office failures of the recent times, you’d understand that.

Shah Rukh Khan in ‘Ra.One’

As for Hotel Pakistania where the worlds’ terrorist monsters are at home… they are trying to revive their name. SRK would feel like the lover boy Jonathan from the film. He’d probably try to sing a song and stand with his hands extended to charm their foreign minister! Wow! It seems like there’s a film material in it… I could also be a Bollywood script writer. All I need is a partner…
(partners in everything have a great effect in Bollywood!) like… Salim-Javed, Salim-Suleiman, Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy, Jatin-Lalit, Abbas-Mastaan, Abhishek-Amitabh-Aiswarya… oops! Cut the last one out. My mistake… Combo deals are invalid since they are proved to be not working!

P.S:- Amrish Puri died. Otherwise we could have cast him as the Pakistani President in this possibly upcoming romantic thriller, directed by me. Suggestions are welcome.

Related articles

• BJP asks government to react strongly against Malik’s remark on Shah Rukh (indiavision.com)
• India must provide security to Shah Rukh: Malik (vancouverdesi.com)
• Give security to Shah Rukh, Malik tells India (vancouverdesi.com)
• As row erupts, Malik alters comment on SRK security (thehindu.com)
• Hafeez Saeed says Shah Rukh Khan should move to Pakistan – Ek Tamacha (ektamacha.com)
• Indian government should provide security to Shah Rukh Khan: Rehman Malik (ndtv.com)
• The SRK controversy: we can protect our own, says India to Pakistan (ndtv.com)
• When did SRK Become the Muslim Villain? (indiatimes.com)
• Solve your problems first, Shiv Sena tells Pakistan (vancouverdesi.com)
• India and Pakistan row over actor (bbc.co.uk)

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